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How to Help Your Child Through Disappointing Exam Results
Rachael Essex • Aug 27, 2020
Results time can be a huge challenge!
You’ve wanted the best for your child but didn’t want to push too hard. You want them to get the greatest results they possibly can and stress over what will happen if they don’t. It’s tough! We hope that all your children got everything that they hoped for, but if they didn’t, here’s some advice on how you can help them through.
Let them know that it’s ok to feel a lot of different emotions. Disappointment, worry, guilt, feeling left out - it’s all normal!
The noise of results day and the days following probably won’t help if they’re feeling down so encourage them to tune it out a little. Remind them that even though it may seem like they’re the only person feeling this way, they certainly won’t be.
Social media is likely to further exacerbate the wave of post-results uproar, so suggest that they consider stepping away from it for a little while. Remind them too to consider what they choose to share. Once it’s out there it can’t be taken back, and sharing something personal only to receive a response that they didn’t want, may only add to their worry. If there was ever a time to actually pick up the phone and have a proper chat with a good friend then this is it!
However your child is feeling, you can’t avoid the fact that anyone who knows they were due some exam results is going to ask how they did. Inspire them to own their situation and to be honest about what they got - this will save a lot of worry and stress further down the line. Moreover, admitting their feelings is the signal for others to do the same, which could be the perfect way for them to realise that they’re not alone.
Relatives are often the scariest to talk to when things haven’t gone to plan, so consider preparing the most frightening ones in advance of your child seeing them. As for the slightly less scary ones, an open and honest conversation with an adult about something similar that they have overcome, could be exactly what your child needs to hear. We’ve all been there!
Start moving forward. Exams will have been the focus of their schooling for a long time, and now that that part is all over (especially if they didn’t get the results they were expecting) they could be feeling a little lost. Find someone that they can discuss their options with. A trusted teacher, careers advisor or another education professional.
If resits are an option for them then try to identify what went wrong last time so that they can work on that next time. Look into additional help - you don’t need to spend the earth to access some really excellent tuition.
Finally and most importantly teach them to be kind to themselves! Help them to forgive themselves and to focus now on what they can change and not what they can’t. Make sure they eat well, sleep well and spend time doing things that they enjoy. Remind them that everything they’re feeling just goes to show that they care and that they do have the motivation they need to do well!
As a parent, teaching them how to handle this will help them handle bigger things in the future. Facing failure and rejection is a life skill in itself, so try to take as many positives from this as you can.
Let it all out then take some time out but don’t sit and worry alone. As experts in school and exam tuition, we’ve seen our fair share of highs and lows at results time and we’re here if you need us. We can help with resits, identifying learning gaps, teaching in different ways and much more! Just drop us a message or pick up the phone.
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